Coalesce

I've always been a fan of the concept album. I appreciate the thought, talent, and work that goes into creating a musical ensemble that creates a larger picture or message with its individual pieces. I also like that each part must be understood on its own terms before being pieced into the larger story.

Concept albums are like ogres. They have layers.

Many moons ago, I tried my hand at a concept album. It was an abject failure in the sense that I only wrote four things and then lost focus. There was one thing that came out of it that I really liked. It's a song about loneliness and the things people do when they feel lonely. It's pretty old. I started it in high school and finished it a few years later. For some reason I thought of it today while I was driving home, so I had to find it and post it.


Coalesce

She leaves the tv on
just to feel like somebody cares.
Even the empty words
are better than the empty air.

"My patience may be wearing thin"
she says to her reflection.
"I just need a break from this
monotonous seduction.
In between the spaces where
we used to talk and keep our thoughts
There only lives the aftermath
of angry words we can’t take back."

As this feeling coalesces
she slips on unconsciousness
just to make a thicker skin.
Her own is wearing pretty thin.
She twists the strings of levity into
something only she can see.
A sacrificial offering
to the gods of Mirth and Mockery.

"It’s the crumbling façade"
she says.
"I’m the last horse on the carousel
and the circus wasn’t popular,
once they released the animals."

As this feeling coalesces into something
just a little bit untamed,
she slams on the brakes and says
"I never meant to feel this way."

In Your Arms

It's been crazy the last few weeks. Baby related things, work travel, mountains of data, deciphering programs written in Russian...you know, the usual. On top of that my research position is ending in December so I'm preparing to switch to full time teaching, which involves wrapping up all my current projects and getting new ones started (it's an amazing amount of work to build a class from scratch).

In my spare time I've also been working on three new songs. Some people like to work on one thing at a time, but I find that jumping back and forth between a few different things helps when you get stuck. The song below is pretty self explanatory so I'm just going to let it ride. This is my third favorite thing I've written. Maybe not third best but definitely third favorite. Now that we have a piano in the house the music to this one may actually get finished since it's meant for piano. Enjoy.

Minor correction: This is an old song. It's my third favorite thing in my entire collection, not third favorite amongst the current crop. Just to clear up any confusion. By the time I get around to posting "new" stuff it's liable to be as old as this stuff is already.

In Your Arms

You are empty
I am full of pride
We can't back down
even though we’re so torn up inside
You're still hungry
and you just can't leave now
The show must go on
even if there is no crowd

I am the firefly in your jar
the one you shake when you want to smile
All I want to do is shine for you
or never shine again

You are glass
I'm leaving fingerprints on your surface
You are sharp
You've etched your name into my heart
I’m content
to stay by your side
or just be in the same room
It makes me feel like I'm alive

I am the caterpillar in your jar
just give me some time and I could be beautiful
I love you out from behind these walls
but it's never the same

as being in your arms
as being in your arms
as being in your arms
I just want to be in your arms tonight

Pictures of you
rolling through my head
stealing my breath
until there’s nothing left inside
but these regrets
of all the things we’ve done to ourselves

Everything inside of me
has been corrupted by the girl I need
and all the gold in the world won’t bring her back

I miss you
The beating of your heart comforts me
Favor me
Favor me with one more sterling smile
before I leave
and all of this becomes a memory

I am the caterpillar in your jar
just give me some time and I could be beautiful
I love you out from behind these walls
but it's never the same

as being in your arms
as being in your arms
as being in your arms
I just want to be in your arms tonight