D Pedal

This is my latest creation and I wanted to talk about the composition and process for a bit since they were both complex. I've been writing lyrics since I was in high school and (somewhat) writing music since college. While the lyrics range from the very simple to the very complex, the music tends to be extraordinarily simple. I don't compose melodies. The lyrics are the melody. That's where I always put the focus because I'm a lyrically driven song writer and listener. If I don't like the lyrics it makes it much harder for me to like the song. And good lyrics will often overcome bad music for me. My chords are there to set the mood, keep the rhythm, and make things more interesting. That's why almost everything I put chords to contains only simple rhythm chords. If I'm not feeling lyrically inclined, I will just fiddle with chords for hours until I hit on a chord or combination that evokes a few lines. Once those lines are in place, the rest tends to follow (eventually).

That's how this song evolved- I had the first four chords and, after playing them for awhile, I got the first two lines. It then sat dormant for several years. About a month ago I was fiddling around with it again, just playing it over and over and then the next two lines came. After that, it went pretty fast, writing itself in less than a week. One of those fortuitous happenstances I guess, where the chords and the first few lines reminded me of something current that I could use to keep going. I find that happens a lot- something I started years ago but never finished becomes the basis for something today or music I've had laying around for a decade finally gets lyrics worth keeping. Just goes to show- never throw out your creative work.

It's often very difficult to move from verse to chorus to verse. You want to maintain the idea but change up the rhythm, sound, or style. You also want to find a set of chords that play nicely but differently and, eventually, loop back to where you started with a natural sound. This is possibly the most musically complex song I've done, so I thought I'd post a bit about it as well.

The song uses a neat musical trick called a pedal (hence the post title). The trick involves using different chords but all of those chords share a note. In this case, you'll notice most of the chords have a D title. The key of D contains a single sharp (F#) and every chord in the progression I've used is rooted on the D an octave above middle C (for those of you that know your music notation). When you play it on guitar, your ring finger never leaves D on the 2nd string. The pedal helps tie the song together, giving you a constant reference point and a musical focus.

As for the lyrics- the song is quite simply about people that build their own walls and then refuse to ask for help to tear them down. The first part is about wanting something so bad you hold on for dear life, the second part is about not being willing to compromise even to get what you want, and the last part is a split- it's part realizing what you are doing and part having someone else realize you are still locking them out even when they're willing to help.

Note: I've written a ton of stuff (and easily thrown out triple that while editing). This is one of my favorites- definitely top ten and possibly even top five.

Saved

Verses: D5 Dsus2
Gsus2 G/B
Csus2 Cadd9 D
Chorus: D5/F Cadd9 Dsus4/G D/F#
D5/F Dsus4/G D/F#
D5/F Cadd9
D5/F Cadd9
D5/F Dsus4/G D/F#


She’s the first to know
but the last to go
even though it’s hopeless

She’ll fight on ‘til the end
just to say she did
even when she can’t win

The boys that she finds
become the men she’ll despise
when her heart comes back to Earth

She’s just a girl in his mind
She wants to be a woman in his eyes
even with the price her self-worth

No one knows where she goes
when she wants to cry
She brings it on herself
a damsel in distress
She won’t let herself be saved

She clings to her pride
like a blushing bride
It’s a place to hide

But it doesn’t keep her warm
or protect her from the storm
that soaks her to the bone

The pieces of her life
float by in black and white
She never could see the gray

The middle ground she needs
was flooded too deep
She hates appearing weak

No one knows where she goes
when she needs to cry
She brings it on herself
this damsel in distress
who won’t let herself be saved

She holds on way too long
Long after he is gone
Long after he’s moved on

She tries so hard to fix
mistakes that were his
She can’t let done be done

It’s these faults I adore
down to her neurotic core
They keep me at her door

But she’ll never let me in
any deeper than her skin
It’s too hard to begin again

No one know where she goes
when she wants to cry
She brings it on herself
She's just a damsel in distress
Who won’t let herself be saved

No one knows where she goes
or why she hurts herself
She cannot escape
the walls that she creates
but she won’t let herself be saved
No, she won’t let herself be saved

I like mine better than Death Cab's

I wasn't expecting the onslaught of album reviews from Adam, but I suggest you read them because they are entertaining and he spends more time listening to music in one day than most people do in a week. Also, I would suggest listening to any albums he recommends because they're usually worth becoming intimate friends with. Without his recommendations I would never have found the awesomeness that is Jenny Lewis.

For myself, I'm picking a different type of song to post than my previous few. For some reason, over the course of my life, I've attracted more than my share of people that are broken. We all have moments when we need someone. But some of us are just inclined to savage bouts of emotional self-torture (myself included). I must have a "Troubled People Need Apply" sign on me that I am unaware of, because they always seem to find me. I'm the ghost whisperer of emotionally troubled people, but without the huge rack and huge paycheck.

To me these people are projects, a chance to fix in them what I can't seem to fix in myself, and for whatever reason I just can't say no. I'm not sure whether it's because I like that they depend on me or the power I have over them or the rush of knowing that someone in the depths of misery now has a chance to keep going forward. No matter the reason for me putting them back together, it's devastating to watch them slide right back into those patterns that created the problem. That happens far too often. Sometimes I think it's because people need misery but mostly I think it's because we're creatures of habit more than we are creatures of common sense. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that empathy, sympathy, and my own time, energy, and tears are no guarantee that putting someone back together emotionally and psychologically will make them any stronger than they were before they came into my life. That's really the story this song tells- watching someone self-destruct, doing all you can to be there for them, and still not having the power to stop it. It's not about futility or fatalism- it's about being utterly helpless but pushing on anyway.

Some years ago my home town had a pretty serious fire, to the point where a large portion of the town was surrounded by 15 foot walls of flame. While watching it all happen, it became more than just a fire. It became an analogy and a metaphor for those emotionally and psychologically fragile people that I couldn't help. It became a setting; an external, physical backdrop for the internal, emotional turmoil.

(Sorry Death Cab- as much as I love everything you do, I like my fire song better. It's a bit biased, but there you have it.)


Ashes fall

Every time she walks into the room with that bottle in her hand
I know it’s going to be a long, long night
Her brain is full of whiskey and her heart is full of gin
and her body’s telling me to get the lights
She hits the bed like fire then her body turns to ice
She falls asleep in nothing but her bra
I’m standing in the doorway that leads into the room
hoping that she’ll get well soon

My town is burning down tonight
There’s nothing I can do but sit and watch
The ashes fall like rain outside my window pane
as she takes another drink like it would help put out the flames

She leaves the house in style with a slit up past her thigh
She stands out on the corner so that all the boys can see
Her tongue it burns like lightning as she screams into the sky
Calling for another round to help forget her life
She’s jaded and she’s used, she’s jagged and abused
Her skin is smooth but her soul is badly bruised
To her I’m just the place she’ll turn when anger’s run its course
I’m the one that will forgive her, even though it hurts

My town is burning down tonight
There’s nothing I can do but sit and watch
The ashes on the breeze find me on my knees
praying that she’ll find a way to conquer this disease

My town is burning down tonight
There’s nothing I can do to quench the flames
While the ashes fall like snow through the orange and hellish glow
I cradle her against the heat as she cries herself to sleep

Stories

All great songs have a story behind them. They may not specifically tell a story but they do capture a moment or an emotion and try to put the listener into it. There are songs I really never liked until I learned the story behind them (a la Rob Thomas and Her Diamonds).

This song is about relationships and the stories that we write as people- the things we say and do, whether we really mean them or not. Any relationship has lots of stories: the physical story of the course of the relationship, the emotional ride, the individual events you remember when all else is forgotten. At the heart of every relationship there is what we call the love story. It's hard to define but we all know what it is, whether from personal experience, books, or movies. I'm guessing most people have also experienced relationships where that story was never written or was written too fast and too soon to really take hold. This song is about those stories.


Love Story

Verses:
Bm F#m Em A

Chorus
D G D/F# A

Said she's gonna join the circus
Said she's gonna be a star
Said she'd walk a mile in my shoes
She didn't get very far
Said she's gonna be a hero
Said she's gonna win the war
After all of these years in the trenches
She can't remember what she's fighting for

Don't you look at me
before you take a look at yourself
If you're gonna make a change
you better make it for the best
It's a sordid state of affairs
that keeps me coming back for more
But I'm not gonna cry
when you're the one that walked out the door

So how 'bout stepping down
and giving back that crown
You never really earned it anyway
You just stole if from the last fairy princess
to walk into the room
And declare for the world to hear that
she's better than you

Now don't you look at me
before you take a look at yourself
If you're gonna make a change, girl,
you gotta make it for the best
It's a sordid state of affairs
that kept me crawling back for more
But I'm not gonna cry
when you're the one that wanted the door

She gave me her heart, she gave me her soul
then she took them both back
She said "I know it's a dirty thing my friend,
but love is like the wind"

Don't you look at me
before you take a look at yourself
If you're gonna make a change
you need to make it for the best
It's a sordid state of affairs
that kept me crawling back for more
But I'm not gonna cry
because you're the one that walked out the door

You told me you were evil
but you don't know half the truth
I guess love's the kind of word
that you threw around in your youth
But when you're old and alone, girl,
don't come bitching to me
In all the shit between us
there never was a love story