Wow...almost a year since I posted anything. Time flies when you have shit to do. Or to not do since continuing my posts has fallen by the side. Technically it's no longer V-Day, but I'll post this anyway.
In some ways I consider this my opus. In technical terms, musically and lyrically, it's not the best I ever did, but somehow this is the one that sticks the most and definitely means the most to me. It's one I lived. It's also the one that has my favorite line that I ever wrote. I'll leave it to others to figure out which one it is.
Yeah, it's not a lovey-dovey V-Day song, but it's a love song anyway. And it is, hands down, the most painful thing I ever put on paper. Yes, I wrote this by hand back in the dark ages before phones recorded everything. It's hard to describe, so I'll just let it speak for itself.
Last Goodbye
We’re standing in the passing shine
of headlights heading farther on
and home is just a block or two away
The silence that surrounds our steps
is perfectness in duplicate
since neither of us knows what to say
On your porch at 2 AM
with moonlight glinting off your hair
preparing all the words you think
will make this last goodbye complete
I’m holding you against myself
defenseless but not innocent,
and every time the screen door slams
the walls go up between us again.
Before you say your last goodbye,
convinced that you are justified,
there’s just one thing that I want you to know.
Every time I let you go
the beating of my heart…slows…down.
I've got time
I've got time.
To sit around and think about
what went wrong this time around
I know it hurts, like nothing else,
and the hurt will fade, but the memories remain
We have grown accustomed to
contrition and apologies
but never knowing what we’re sorry for
The argument is getting stale
sitting there up on the shelf
right next to where my picture used to be
She said “We never did enough,
the time apart was just too tough,
and I’m not cut out for this kind of life.
I cannot be satisfied with second best,
and though I’ve tried, I realize
there must be more than this.”
Sleeping through these bitter days
just to keep your ghost at bay
and praying for release from all this pain
Every time I turn my head,
I see you from the corner of my eye.
This beautiful mirage
that shimmers in my mind.
Now we sit alone at night,
talking around how we really feel,
determined to prove what we had
was too damn good to be real.
Before I say my last goodbye,
and go pretend I’m doing fine,
there’s just one thing I wanted you to know.
Every time I let you go,
the beating of my heart…slows…down.
I've got time.
I've got time.
To sit around and think about
what went wrong this time around.
It still hurts, more than it should,
and the hurt will fade, but the memories remain.
I've got time.
I've got time.
To stare into these photographs,
and ask myself why nothing lasts,
why everything that’s beautiful has
passed…me…by
