to the guy that ran my ass over in the carpool lane today. Let me say here that I hope you die in a fire, preferably slowly so you have time to think about all the stupid things you did to deserve it. I also hope that if you breed you'll do the world a favor and not raise the kid. You're the reason people commit suicide and shoot up malls- they can't stand dealing with you every day they have to go outside.
The carpool lane is a lane for people that actually carpool. That means two or more people. Not yourself and your hand. I know you're lonely and dysfunctional and your hand is the only thing that will ever love you, but your hand does not count as a friend. I know you think you're sneaky getting out of the carpool lane when there's a cop. You are not. You're just a dick. Not a ninja.
The carpool lane is still bound to the other rules of the road. It's not a make-your-own-speed lane and it's not a tailgating-is-appropriate lane. Since you can't drive with any decency in a regular lane, let's not complicate things by driving in a carpool lane where you have to be extra alert for douche-bags (like yourself) jumping in at inappropriate times and slowing down in order to get back into traffic to make an exit.
Apparently, you can only think about one thing at a time. And since that one thing is yourself and not the rest of the people on the road, maybe you should sit this one out. You must be vital to the human species. It must be nice to be you.
And tonight when you head home don't forget to cut off a school bus full of kids and run a bunch of red lights because you need to be home two minutes earlier. Do the world a favor and choke on your microwave dinner.
Sincerely,
The Management
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