Her Name

One of the more amusing things I see in people is their, often inexplicable, ability to do exactly the opposite of what any observer thinks they would do. This is never more clear and more confusing to watch than when it comes to matters of the heart.

I think most people have been there. That situation where you go all in- you learn everything you possibly can about someone, put in the time and effort and love that it takes to know them at a level that goes beyond physical or emotional attraction- only to see them turn away and run to someone else that won't take the time or put in the love and dedication to know them. You watch them run to someone you know will never love them or give them the support they need.

This is a rather...logical...take on an emotional issue. And emotion trumps logic any day. We don't choose who we love. And there's no accounting for taste. But it's brutally depressing to be on the receiving end. To be the person that puts in the dedication to knowing someone and being there for them and picking them up every time they stumble...only to be left for someone that doesn't love them and takes them for granted.

This song is for all of those people that have had to live through the trauma. It's about knowing a girl down to her soul and having to watch her be with someone that can barely remember her name. It's about knowing that she still cares but, for whatever reason, just runs keeps running. At the heart of it all it's about loving her enough that you can endure watching her be with someone that will never love her the way she deserves.

This is my second favorite thing I ever wrote. This one was a lot of blood and tears. It was hard. Not hard to write lyrically- that actually came pretty readily. It was more because this was an emotionally devastating ride. When things hit so close to home there are times when you want to quit because it feels like the next line or next thought will push you over the edge. But that's part of why I write...the catharsis. When it's done and you look back and you've created something that you like so much and means so much to you...it takes some of the edge off the pain. It's like a narcotic- it doesn't take the pain away but it dulls that sharp edge and lets you function enough to keep going. Anyway, I like this one a lot and I hope it means something to you too.



Her Name
(Key of C)

Pink carnations are her favorite flower
Orange blossom is her favorite smell
The way she curls her right hand in
is her poker tell

Horses are her favorite past-time
She loves dancing in the rain
She always has a beautiful smile
even when she's in pain

I know you think she's looking at you
but the light, it never touches her eyes
I know you think she cares for you
but you can feel the distance in her smile
I know all the places she goes,
I knew them long before you came.
I know all the secrets she hides,
you don't even know her name

She's fragile like a winter snowflake
that melts when it touches your skin
She's stronger than she'll ever admit
but she'll break before she'll ever bend

She loves driving for the sake of it
The movement calms her down
She loves to argue just to prove a point
and "It's Christmas Again, Charlie Brown"

I know you think she likes to look at you
but the light it never touches her eyes
I know you think she cares for you
but you can feel the distance in her smile
I know that she's thinking of me
in some dark corner of her brain
I know all the secrets she hides,
you don't even know her name

Being like her mom is her biggest fear
Being with me is next
She always had a way with words
and she could always read the subtext
I know that she's thinking of me
when she takes off her dress
and when she's done she stares at the dark
and lights her cigarette
She sees my reflection in the twisting smoke,
a mirror of her feelings,
as I evaporate from her breath
and into the ceiling.

The drama of girls makes her crazy
she makes friends with all the boys
Her smile captures hearts like an orphan
Her anger drives her to destroy

She doesn't give her heart up easily
but when she does she goes all in
She's easy to break and hard to remake
Making her cry is a sin

I know you think she's looking at you
but the light it never touches her eyes
I know you think she loves you too
but you can feel the distance in her smile
I know all the pain that she hides,
I knew her long before you came.
I know all the faces she has,
you barely even know her name

I know all the places to touch
that get the blood pounding in her veins
I know all the buttons to push
to turn her into pleasure from pain
I know all the secrets she hides
I knew them long before you came
I know where she got all her scars
Boy, you don't even know her name