Today was pretty easy. I put new tires on the car, wrapped up revisions for 3 dissertation chapters, played some GTA. And found a copy of Blender under a box. For giggles, I read it. Now I have something to write about (I'd say "to blog about" but blog IS NOT A VERB) while I watch The Boondocks.
Who the fuck is responsible for these ludicrous top X lists? Just insert a random number, usually 10, 50, or 100, and you have the new American pastime. Blender had "The Forty Worst Lyricists Ever". Let's examine the list. At #40 Anthony Kiedis. #37 Bryan Adams. #34 Carly Simon. #30 Kevin Federline. #23 Robert Plant. #18 Ian Anderson. #10 Jim Morrison. #1 Sting.
Are you fucking stupid? You're telling me that Sting, Jim, Ian, and Robert are worse lyricists that Kevin Federline? Apparently people with actual lyrical and musical talent can't hold a candle to the lyrics "Bring your ass/On the floor and move it real fast/I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty/Want to know where I go when I'm in your city?" Just for that, every single person on that committee should be strapped down and forced to listen to that song until their ears explode. For God's sake, Fred Durst was only #24. He's made a career out of poorly thought out lyrics and putting into "musical" form every beef he has with other celebrities.
Don't get me wrong. Every great band has bad lyrics. But the list wasn't "Worst Lyrics Ever", it was worst lyricists. This is why pop music today is fucking useless. People can't even recognize great lyrics or music because they're surrounded by this trash. There is no Bob Dylan for my generation. He would have been run out of town.
Let's examine some lists. 100 hottest women. Why is Eva Longoria at the top? Peter's description of Sarah Jessica Parker is apt: "her face looks like a foot". 100 things you can do to please you man. Why is #1 never "show up naked"? Because that's the answer.
These things are a waste of time. Let's all agree to stop reading and watching them. That way they'll go away. Alternatively, let's put some informed people on the committee. And let's give actual reasons for why the rankings fell the way they did. If bookies ranked sports teams the way these morons organize their lists, then the Rockies would be favored to win the Series and my fantasy football team would be destined for greatness.
Also, I got the job I wanted at UW. Yay me. I guess now I'm an official scientician since I get paid to do it outside of a teaching environment.
3 comments:
Congratulations on the job! That is definitely the #24 reason for the rest of us to feel that much more inadequate in your presence. I'm pretty sure there's a top 50 list somewhere.
Congrats on the job! That's great. But now you're saying that "wanna see your kitty and a little bit o titty" isn't a defining lyric of our generation? Come on, it begs the question, what's wrong with wanting that? I mean Federline is still a douche bag and will always be a douche bag, but isn't it the crazies that truly say what others are thinking but won't? Hmmm....
Here here, Bret!
"I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty"
Greatest... line... ever.
And survey says #4 reason for not wanting to live in California anymore: Brandon is not there.
#3 The OC
#2 WASPs
#1 Slipping on Britney's snail trails every time I go to LA (someone get that 'lyricist' some panties and a bucket!)
Post a Comment