Mommy, can we go to the circus?

I'm going to start my own business. Here's why: Gossip is just about all sports reporting is good for lately. We've got predictions for not only what teams will go to the Super Bowl, but which will win and by how much. And the season hasn't started yet. We've got hour long blocks of ESPN dedicated to Fantasy Football picks. Seriously? There's not a football game (and I mean soccer for you Americans) that we could be watching? Another strong man competition? Competitive fucking? Anything? It's called Fantasy Football for a reason.

Sportscasters have become as bad as political pundits on CNN and Fox News. The media surrounding sports has become the celebrity paparazzi for fat, misogynistic "men's men". It's an acceptable form of gossip that doesn't step on their male sensibilities by calling it gossip. So I guess this should come as no surprise: Serena Williams Loss at US Open .

Let's see...you just lost a major tournament, one you've invested time, money, and both physical and emotional effort in. Now you've got 50 people and cameras in your face asking you inane questions. If you don't go to the media circus, you get fined. How's that for the after-match meeting being optional? You're tired, probably not feeling that great about life, and here comes some people whose job is to make your career an angle so they can sell their stories.

I for one agree with and defend Serena. She wasn't being rude. She was telling these crows as politely as she could to shut up and leave her alone. Since I have that right when someone sticks a microphone in my face, why shouldn't she? It's the same as celebrity groupies. The reason they're always getting punched in the face, spit on, and cussed at is because they've chosen to make a career of invading people's lives. Back the fuck up and let them be. The only thing I agree with is that there was a little un-professionalism shown by Serena in saying Justine made some "lucky" shots. But that doesn't warrant a full blown attack calling her "classless" and "graceless."

So to get these psuedo-journalists and celebrity photographers out of my newspapers, tv, and magazines, I'm starting a business called "Media Dump". The symbol will be a giant dog turd with Tazio Secchiaroli and John Stossel floating like a corn dinner. We'll mercilessly hound the less reputable media, celebrity and athlete paparazzi. We'll take pictures of their life. We'll follow them to the grocery store, the airport, grandma's nursing home, and the gay porn theater. We'll put their private sex lives in print and call it deviant then we'll make their recreational drug use into an epidemic addition. We'll sit outside their homes, hound their families, put their faces all over tv and poorly conceived tabloids. Let's see how they feel after a few years of that. And we'll do it until they stop doing it to actors and athletes.

Great athletes have an emotional attachment to their sport. When they're having a bad day, just sit back, have a Coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up.